Not Your Typical Friday 13th and a Very Long Blog

My previous blog referenced a baby for whom we were shown but that we hadn't heard anything. How quickly life changes.

On May 4 we didn't know we were falling in love with a baby we had only just heard about. We longed for him in a way that was very unusual for us. We had been shown to birth families before but had only hopeful wishes not intense longing. I had never really obsessed about a specific baby. I had never before wanted to rush to the NICU to scoop up a little one and hold him until his family was chosen (whether it was us or not). This time was different.

Monday, May 9 - I emailed our social worker to see what the baby's status was. She said that they were still trying to reach the birth dad but a few profiles had been selected. They were hoping to have a match by the week's end. I was glad to hear that we were still possibly "in the running" for this little boy. I was also preparing myself to be sad when we found out that we weren't chosen. I knew I would not be devastated, but I would be sad. I felt such a  draw to this little one.

On May 10 at 1:19 pm I was standing in my kitchen washing dishes or eating lunch or something (I can't remember what.) I had actually NOT been thinking about baby boy for a little bit, as I had been trying to quit worrying about him. Then, out of no where, I heard/felt a voice say, "This is your son." I was a bit freaked out and thought maybe I was on the crazy train. I had had some health problems that have made me have a bit more hormones in my body and make me feel a bit off, so I attributed it to that. I didn't even tell Eric that I had "heard" it because I knew he would think I was nuts. I let it go, but couldn't shake the calmness that enveloped me.

I transferred the money we would need for final placement and told myself and Eric that it needed to be done "just in case." I found the baby carrier and car seat, washed the cloth portions, and wiped down the plastic, again "just in case." I figured that even if we weren't chosen this time, we would be eventually. I couldn't hurt to be a little prepared. Joshua asked me lots of questions about the baby stuff. He insisted that he wanted a sister. I wondered what he would think if God gave us a this boy...

Wednesday, May 11 was Eric's 38th birthday.It was a really good day for us. I think he enjoyed the fun things I planned throughout the day. He mentioned how great it would be to get a call that we had been chosen. We joked a bit about it. We also left that baby in the hands of the One who had already ordained from before time began which family he would join. 

Thursday, May 12. Joshua was previewing the preschool at our church. I dropped him off at 9:15 with promises that I would be in the church office and filter in and out to check on him because if he saw me, he would be distracted from preschool. So, I left him with the fabulous teachers and let them know I was just a few yards away in the office.

At 9:30am, my phone rang. My heart stopped. It was a local number that I had never seen, but I knew. I.just.knew. When I answered it, the friendly voice of our social worker greeted me. (She had never called me from her cell before.) After a few pleasantries she told us that we had been chosen to parent the baby boy born on May 4. I began to cry. Then laugh. Then cry some more. Since I was the church office, Eric came out of his office to see what was going on. When he saw my face, he knew. I think he knew the moment he heard my cry. Actually, I think we had "known" all along.

The office staff curiously peaked out the office door. When they realized what was happening, they began to cry with us. The rest is kind of a blur. I can remember asking our Social worker when we could see him. She said they had to make us Legal Guardians with the hospital so we could have access to him and that would need to take the rest of the day. We could meet him the next morning. Well, when you have been waiting 20 months, what were another 24 hours?!

The rest of the day was a flurry of phone calls and child care plans. My phone battery died. My ears hurt from being on the phone all day. My head hurt from crying and absorbing information. It was all so surreal...and I would not trade a moment of it. It.Was.Amazing.

On Friday, May 13, we arrived at the hospital 30 minutes early. We met our social worker a little after 10 and then went up to MEET OUR SON!!! Eric saw him first. I was trying to absorb the room filled with teeny tiny babies!! And then I saw him. Caleb Aiden Spence had a mommy and daddy...and we had another beautiful son.

Caleb was born on May 4 at 34 weeks gestation. He weighed 5 lbs 9 oz and is 21 inches long. He is doing very well. He is on a feeding tube because he wont take a bottle consistently yet, which doesn't help him gain weight to be able to transfer out the incubator into a little bed. The nurses call him feisty and are confident that he will progress quickly.

Eric and I are overjoyed! Joshua is excited to meet his brother "Cay-love." Angel isn't too sure about this new scent we brought home on a blanket. I think we are going to be just fine. It is going to be a crazy 2-3 weeks. Caleb can't come home for a bit, but I am going to Norfolk every day to hold him for as long as they will let me, which is about 4 hours.

Tonight, we go to bed so very tired, but incredibly grateful. We have another son. Another beautiful and so tiny little boy. A little miracle wrapped in preemie diapers and too big newborn clothes. We are so blessed. Thank you for your prayers for us to bring home another child. Please continue to pray for Caleb to grow strong and to take his bottles regularly. Also, please for the legal process, as the revocation period (the time the birth families have change their minds and decide to parent) is up next Friday at 5pm. Please pray for me to drive safely back and forth to Norfolk every day. Please pray for Eric and I as we learn to balance life with 2 kids and especially right now as we have to leave Joshua with friends everyday to see Caleb.

Life just took a crazy good turn. And we are pumped.